And Never the WAYN Shall Meet

Here's the back story...quite some time ago, while I still traveled quite a bit for my work I received an e mail from a colleague and friend who, like me, had to board a plane with disturbing frequency as part of our professional duties. The mail was inviting me to join a new service that he had discovered that would keep track of where we were traveling so that friends would be able to know what part of the world we were in. The service was named WAYN...an acronym for Where Are You Now.

It sounded like a nifty idea and if my friend, a man I respected for his professionalism and family values recommended it...well; it just had to be a good thing. Ugh! Not! I have just sent the email that follows to the co-founder of the enterprise. It is self explanatory.

I'll let you know if conditions change!

• Dear Mr. Touze,
  
  On the off chance that this e mail will actually reach a person instead of an electronically manipulated mass mailing device I am taking the time to respond to your communication of July 26, 2008.
  
  I signed up for WAYN as a result of receiving an email from a friend whom I respect for his seriousness and professionalism. I assumed that if a person of his stature was recommending the service that it had to be of value to me.
  
  Unfortunately, I discovered that WAYN actually took possession of my address book and sent identical invitations to my friends without my knowledge. Then I started getting creepy e mails from shirtless men on Greek islands and I decided I did not want to continue on the rosters of WAYN. I have sent innumberable unsubscribe messages to your website and continue to get periodic emails from the management of WAYN and silly poseur emails from supposed individuals in far-away enchanting places.
  
  So as to be very clear and avoid any possiblity of miscommunication or sense of ambiguity let me repeat:
  
  *I DO NOT WISH TO BE A MEMBER OF WAYN.
  *I DO NOT WISH TO RECEIVE ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION FROM ANYONE CONNECTED TO WAYN.
  *MY DESIRE TO STOP RECEIVING EMAILS FROM WAYN INCLUDES MANAGEMENT, MEMBERS, MARKETING ADMINISTRATORS, INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS, E-MAILING HOUSES, FULLFILLMENT CENTERS; THE RELATIVES, IN-LAWS, SPOUSES OR NEIGHBORS OF ANY OF THE ABOVE.
  
  I applaud your marketing skill, but please be advised that I am not, never have been, nor ever will be a part of your target market. Please instruct your staff to remove me, my name, my e mail address and any vestige of my having been on the WAYN rosters as soon as you receive this missive. Perhaps if the request comes from you, the founder there will, at long last, be some silence from WAYN.
  
  Thank you and have a great week-end.
  
  Anna